Location: Bronxville, NY
Note: Yes, this photo is from Christmas, but I cannot get Zoro to recreate it this season.
Not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been hinting about a move for a while now. It’s not like I was keeping this big secret for a big reveal, but I figured it would be easiest to do a full post on my living situation update instead of talking about it over and over, so here we are. Full disclosure: this is a little long!
About a week ago, I gave up living in the only New York City apartment I’ve known to move back home with my family. This was not out of necessity, or a decision I came to lightly.
I never thought I’d live home again, but I guess because I decided it on my own for the reasons I’m about to outline, I haven’t gotten that “I took a step backward” feeling I’ve been waiting for. We’ve fully established that I love smaller cities, and have a craving for change, and when my lease was up, I saw it as an opportunity to regroup and reassess. As much as I’ve grown to love living on the Upper East Side, living a full Manhattan life, there are parts of small-town living I’ve been missing for a long time. Am I ready for a full change? I don’t know. But having the time, flexibility and support to figure that out is so helpful.
When I moved to Boston five years ago (woah, time flies), I had the opportunity to live on my own, and I absolutely loved it. I’m a big homebody, and it was nice to have decorated and set up in a way I’d always feel at ease. Then when I moved to New York, my friend from college was looking for a new roommate (hers was ironically moving to Boston), and I hopped into the empty bedroom. While we were fantastic roommates (and are still very close friends!), there is something so nice about turning a key in the door and knowing no one is behind it, knowing what to expect. I’ve missed living on my own every day, and she also wanted that experience.
A few months ago, it was time for me to start apartment hunting. Seeing as I’d never dealt with New York City real estate before, I was overwhelmed in a second. I also realized to live in a neighborhood I like, it was going to cost me multiple thousands of dollars to move and build a new home…during a season I spend so little time in the city. After assessing the numbers on my own and talking with my parents, we all decided if I could get over the fact that I’d be “home,” moving back just for a few months would be the wisest decision. My parents live 25 minutes away from the heart of Manhattan, and it wouldn’t interfere with my social life or work schedule in the slightest. Now here we are.
What I’ll Miss and What I’m Looking Forward To
I’m someone who gets more anxious over the anticipation of change than change itself. Once I find a routine, I think I adjust pretty well (my dad calls me the girl who cried wolf about moving…every time I visit somewhere I come home saying I could live there). That being said, it took me two years to adjust to life in Manhattan. I was a severe flight risk, and probably wouldn’t have stuck it out if my family wasn’t right around the corner in Westchester, but I’m so happy I did.
I’m going to miss my mom meeting me for coffee and wandering around different parts of my neighborhood (even though I know she’ll do that anywhere I live). I’m going to miss “going home,” and having my own designated space. My eyebrow lady, nail salon and all of the spots I’ve begun to call mine, being a quick subway ride away from checking out a cool shop or new workout class, having friends and family visit and sharing my little slice of Manhattan with them, all brought me such pride and joy. I’m sad to give that up, even temporarily. I’m scared that by leaving the city, I’m giving up the comfort I’ve finally built, and I’ll have to adjust all over again when I move back.
But even with those feelings of nostalgia, a little sadness and fear, I’m very happy with my decision. It’s difficult for me not to have a plan, but I’m excited. I’m so fortunate to have a family I love hanging out with, that I’m really looking forward to this unexpected time with them. I’m looking forward to driving for some errands, and still having the opportunity to walk around town. I’m ready to spend a summer with a yard, dog and fresh – different! – food every night. And I’m really happy to get to spend time reconnecting with some friends I don’t get to see all that often. But more than everything, I’m ready to breathe and when the time is right, take a confident next step.
Maybe I’ll move back seamlessly. Maybe it’ll be difficult. Maybe I won’t move back at all. For once, I’m okay with not knowing right now.
Not much will change here because I still work in the city daily! I’m sure I’ll have more social media photos and outfit photos from town (sisters = built-in photographers), but that’s about it. Maybe in a month or so, I’ll do an update on my half-suburban living. Who knows!